I wish I could say that getting pregnant is an easy, fun experience. For some weird reason I didn't think it would be that hard considering that my mother and grandmother each had 5 kids. I have joked that I come from a long line of "good breeders". Somehow I have managed to have all the medical issues (vitiligo, breast lumps, scoliosis). I'm sure the pregnancy problem will be another thing to add to the list. For some reason I just know there's a problem.

Brian and I have been trying since May. We weren't super serious about it at first. Just going to see what happens. I was excited that first month. Bought a pregnancy test and everything. I feel so stupid about getting my hopes up about it. In June we were on vacation and I wasn't keeping track of anything, plus I had done a bit of drinking here and there, so I did not really want that to be the month it happened. July has come and gone and we tried really hard. I was keeping track of my temperature to determine ovulation. Thought everything was perfect. We tried on the days that I was suppose to be ovulating. I was way too excited. I jumped the gun and had Brian buy a pregnancy test on Saturday only to be disappointed to see the negative result. At first I tried to deny the outcoming thinking it was a false negative. Reality set in on Sunday when my period came. I can't handle this emotional rollercoaster. If trying to get pregnant is creating this much anxiety for me, I can't image how awful it will be if I actually do become pregnant.